Chapter One
Sitting here in the depths of thought, running my fingertips along the wooden desk I’ve placed myself at, I realized something; I hate my life. I mean, I genuinely hate most things including living. Not saying this as a suicidal thing, but I just really wish I could get out. My deep thinking often brings me to tears, but this state of imagination I put myself in every day during math class has its perks at times. Sometimes I dream about flying, picturing myself on top of the city, looking over the people that have made my life suck since day one. Laughing as they walk around, so small compared to the heights I’ve conquered and things they’ve put me through. I was scared out of my thoughts as I was tapped on the shoulder.
“What are you thinking about, Luce?” The familiar voice calms me, brings me into a state of ease almost like a giant hug. Standing behind me was him, Jospeh; my best friend.
“Killing you,” I replied, looking up him as he leaned his elbow on the surface of my desk to press his forehead against mine. He was fond of odd acts towards other people, this being one of them.
“But I’m already dead inside,” he whispered, his raspy voice making me cringe in wonders of how he’d changed so much since seventh grade.
“Shut up, I’m aware. Remember that time you convinced me you drank a lava lamp?” I asked, giving him a stare that left him reduced to backing away and clenching his jaw.
“Yeah, I remember. It was Iris’ idea.”
“Are you serious?” I asked, looking around the room, wondering where Iris had been all morning. The three of us had this class, math, together and it was the highlight of every school day. Iris finally strutted into the classroom, dressed in her usual expensive get up and brunette hair curtaining over her shoulders. She caught my eyes staring her up and down, and smiled, making her way over to Joseph and I.
“Hey,” she said, her voice deeper than a girl like her’s normally would be. I smiled almost instantly, her presence putting me in a great mood.
“Hi,” I replied, nodding towards her desk which was right in front of my own. Joseph looked over at me, his chapped lips slightly parted as he glanced back and forth between Iris and myself. Iris took a seat, wrapping the shoulder strap of her hand bag around to back of her chair before sitting down and raking her freshly manicured fingertips through her long hair.
“Very observant, I see,” Joseph whispered, sitting in his own seat right next to me. I brought the side of my hand into the center of his throat at a speed I didn’t know I could accomplish. He gagged, hunching over as he was thrown into a fit of coughing and obvious uncomfort. Whenever he was done, he looked over at me with a cocked eyebrow and a disturbed facial expression.
“What was that?” He asked, his eyes bloodshot and watery from choking.
“That was me hitting you, idiot,” I replied, tightening the ponytail atop my head. Class was due to start ten minutes ago, and chaos erupted in the classroom. Joseph was usually the cause of things like this. Riots, Over exaggerated boycotts, fake flash mobs, etcetera. From what I knew, Joseph had been suspended two times since January. It’s now the middle of May.
“JOSEPH!” I somewhat-yelled as I saw the tall boy climbing on top of his desk. He sometimes had me wondering where his brain cells had gone to. He looked down at me, before stomping his foot to get everyone’s attention. He succeeded, almost every face in the classroom turning around to look at him. Before I could stop him, Joseph took out a sharpie and proceeded to draw a large mustache above his lip. I smacked my palm against my forehead, closing my eyes and praying that this time he would get out clean, with maybe a warning. He smacked his lips together, and cocked his hand on his hip, the weight going to one side of his body. I knew what was coming; another teacher impersonation.
“Oi, prepubescent, angsty teens,” he said, gaining a laugh from multiple people in the audience he’d put together before him. Sitting directly next to him, I hid my face in the arm of my sleeve as I watched him. Before he could finish his show, Mr.Ezra walked into the room. He stopped abruptly as he saw Joseph slowly climbing off his desk and hiding his mouth with his hands. He was guided into the hallway, and I could practically hear his strategy through the walls. Deny, deny, deny, he always said. How was he going to get out of this one? I laughed to myself, supporting my tired head with my hands as I looked down at the sheet of paper lying on my lap. I heard a desk squeak, and I was met with Iris’ ivory green eyes. I smiled, shaking my head before she began to speak.
“What’re you gonna do when your boyfriend finally gets expelled?”
My heart dropped to my stomach. Was I just friendzoned?
“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I scoffed, playing with the tips of my fingers as my legs shook beneath me. I was hurt, and I wasn’t sure why. I mean, I couldn’t possibly like her.
“Are you kidding me? Lucy, have you seen the way he looks at you?” she asked, looking at me in disbelief.
“Yes, I have. Emotionless. What are you saying?” I asked, trying to avoid staring into her bright green orbs, which would definitely have me melting in my seat.
“You’re clueless,” she chuckled, turning around to face the front of the classroom. A few minutes passed, staring at the clock as class time grew shorter, the teacher having not even walked into the classroom. I looked over as the door was opened, Joseph stepping into the classroom followed by Mr.Ezra. He walked to his desk, giving me a look of disappointment. He grabbed his bag from the back of his chair, and slung it over his broad shoulder.
“Where are you going?” I asked, shaking my head as I watched him gather his things.
“Home. I got expelled,” Joseph replied, his voice low and sad sounding.
“What? Expelled? You shouldn’t have gotten expelled for that,” I scoffed.
“Three strikes, Lucy. I’m out,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head, his lips grazing my blonde hair.
“I won’t see you again,” He whispered. My heart dropped, sending an immediate jolt of urgency and confusion through my entire body. The hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood up as I looked at him.
“What?” was all I had to say as I saw his eyes, full of sadness and guilt.
“My dad got that job in Nevada was telling you about,” he said, taking my hand into his and sighing. “I’ll text you, okay?”
I nodded, hoping he wouldn’t forget like he usually does. I pulled my hand away, looking down at them, trembling as Joseph stood over me for a few more seconds.
“Bye, Luce,” he said, giving me an awkward wave before walking out of the classroom.
My chest felt empty, almost like someone had taken a big chunk of my heart for their own. I had no idea what to do now, I felt incomplete. I thought for a moment, my fingers shaking and palms sweaty as they sat in my lap. My eyes roamed the surface of my desk, noticing graffiti scattered across the wood in random places. The corners had stupid little sayings which since had been scribbled out and written on top of with immature words or jokes. Not saying they weren’t funny, because they were, but It reminded me of something Joseph would’ve done as I sat next to him three years ago in eighth grade, urging him to write the most explicit word in my vocabulary across the desk he sat at.
I sighed, scanning my surroundings for a glimpse of something to cheer me up. Mr.Ezra was a fan of eighties and nineties alternative rock, such as Nirvana, Weezer, and Bowling for Soup. If it came on the rock radio station, he liked it. All over were posters of inspirational song lyrics and quotes from the bands, even a picture of Kurt Cobain hanging over the smartboard. It was almost as if Mr.Ezra worshipped these people, and the top of his smartboard was the perfect spot to place a Kurt Cobain shrine in his honor. I watched the clock anxiously, anticipating for the day to end. As Mr.Ezra preached about things I hadn’t paid any attention to since the beginning of the school year, I got to thinking.
I couldn’t just let Joseph move away from me. I couldn’t let my best friend slip through my fingers so easily.
But what was I going to do?
Chapter Two
This itching feeling in my gut grew immensely since I left the school, and as I walked up the front steps and into my house, I prepared myself for the crap that was about to hit the fan. I opened the door, it discretely squeaking against the wooden floor boards. I sighed, hoping I would get by safe and undetected; but that wasn’t the plan, apparently.
“LUCIA-ANNA!” I heard my aunt scream in her sluggish tone, telling me that she was, as usual, drunk.
“WHAT?” I called back, her being upstairs either in the bathtub or lazily lying in her bed watching the endless episodes of the Bachelor she’d recorded. A minute or so passed, and I’d already crossed over into the kitchen to grab my afternoon snack when she raced into the kitchen, nothing but a towel covering her.
“Dude,” I said, giving her a ridiculous look as I took a bite into my granola bar.
“Don’t ‘dude’ me you vulgar little maggot,” she said, making it difficult for me not to burst into a fit of laughter at her choice of words. She was the worst in arguments. She would always reduce to insults, like a caveman.
“Where have you been? I need to go out soon and I can’t have you running amok all over the neighborhood. I don’t want to deal with people complaining to me about my swine-of-a-niece getting into stuff,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, most likely to keep the sopping wet towel from falling down. I shrugged, finishing off what I’d had in my mouth before speaking.
“School. Bus came late,” I assured her, sniffling as I leaned my elbows on the countertop and looked at her from across the room.
“Y’know, I was thinking of getting us a trampoline since you like jumping to conclusions so much,” I retorted. She narrowed her eyes at me, sending a cold spark down my spine as I kept my gaze focused on her bloodshot eyes.
“You better watch your mouth. I’m the only person you’ve got willing to keep a roof over your head,” she said.
“Lies,” was all I could say, trying to convince her that I didn’t need her help; but in reality, no matter how awful and intolerable she was, I did need her. I have no more family in the country, and my aunt stepped up to the plate for custody when she was sober enough to stand on her own two feet. She walked closer, pointing her bony finger in my direction, still not directly in front of my face since I was sure her vision was blurred.
“Your parents are dead.”
I was taken aback by her statement, considering both of us promised we would try our hardest not to bring up the subject of my parent’s death.
“I’m aware,” I mumbled, my focus falling to my hands, fingers shaking, knuckles white, and palms slicked with sweat from holding onto the counter unconsciously. I released my grip, looking back up at her, giving her a look that dared her to continue speaking.
“Good. Obviously you need a dose of reality,” she said, staring me down for a few more seconds before retreating back upstairs. I heard her cursing under her breath as she slammed her bedroom door. I rolled my eyes, opening the refrigerator in search of food as I contemplated whether or not to go take a shower yet. I had to let her cool off before going near her, or she’d say things to hurt and patronize me.
I sighed, clasping my hands together, propping myself up on my elbows over the counter, turning towards the pictures that hung neatly on the wall. I focused on their details, paint splotches covering the canvas messily yet eye-catchingly beautiful. I began to think. Thoughts of Joseph ran rapidly across my mind, his voice echoing in my head. I shook my head to rid of the day dream, sighing. Is he really gone? He couldn’t be, he wouldn’t just leave without coming to see me. Would he?
I sat up, stretching out my achy back before heading towards my room downstairs and down the hall. I plugged my headphones into my ears, playing the playlist Joseph had created for me a few months back. As I fell down onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling scattered with posters and photos I’d kept since third grade, my mind began to race. I wasn’t going to let Joseph out of my life. I couldn’t seem to get that thought out of my head, and I wanted it out. Now. What was I supposed to do to stop him from leaving? Kidnap him?
Wait.